In the News II

-A new KFC was opened in the city of Fallujah in Iraq. You can get the traditional KFC menu items, with one curious addition -- the kids meal toy consists of two sticks and a Koran coloring book.

-Barack Obama has reportedly asked Hillary Clinton to be his Secretary of State; when asked for comment, Hillary's husband, former President Bill Clinton, stated, "I've already started personally interviewing for Hillary's intern."

-In celebrity news, Ashley Simpson and husband Pete Wentz, of the band Fall Out Boy, welcomed a baby boy to their family; they named their son Bronx Mowgli Wentz. Yeah. They really did. When asked where they came up with the name, they replied, "We asked Ozzy Osbourne if he had any ideas, and this is what we THOUGHT he said."

-Now, with some commentary on a topic off the top of his head...FELIX, THE GAYING MANTIS....





Good Lord, HELP US!!!

Goodnight.